September 10th Q&A - Listening to Your Body in the Middle of the Mess

This month’s questions were powerful. Honest. Vulnerable. The kind of questions that come from people who are actually doing the work. If that’s you—reading this now—you need to know that just asking these things means you’re moving forward, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet.

Let’s walk through the big themes that came up this month. You’re not alone in any of them.

1. What do I do when I feel physically unwell during a fear food challenge?

First off—huge courage. If you’re challenging fear foods and increasing energy-dense meals like pizza, sausages, or cake, that is massive progress. And yes, sometimes that brings digestive backlash.

When you've been restricting or eating the same “safe” foods for a long time, your gut literally forgets how to break down certain nutrients. Add in the stress of eating something scary, and your digestion is going to feel it.

That moment where you feel full, nauseous, and panicked mid-meal? It’s not failure. It’s your nervous system trying to protect you.
But protection and truth are not the same thing.

You asked: Was it a win against the ED or did I harm myself?
Here’s the truth—it’s not either-or. You showed up. You challenged something hard. And yes, you might’ve pushed beyond your physical limit. That doesn’t mean you failed. It means you’re learning the line between fear and pain—and that’s part of this.

If you wouldn’t force your child to finish something that was making them feel sick, don’t force yourself either. Trust isn’t built through pressure. It’s built through listening—even when it’s messy.

🟡 Next time? Pause. Breathe. You can stop without giving up. And you can always come back to that food another day.

2. Is my current body image being distorted by the eating disorder?

You said you’re lighter now than you were during your Weight Watchers days—and yet, you feel heavier and worse about how you look.

That’s not a body issue. That’s a perception issue.
That’s eating disorder dysmorphia.

Restriction changes the way your brain interprets what it sees. You zoom in on flaws. You forget perspective. You start to believe the fear instead of the mirror.

Taking photos can help sometimes—but only if you're using them to understand, not judge. Ask:

• What story am I telling myself when I look at this photo?

• Would I say that to a friend or child?

• Is this really about weight, or about control and fear?

🟡 You’re not seeing your body clearly. But you can relearn how to. That’s what healing perception means.

3. I feel hopeless. Going “all in” sounds terrifying. I’m not sure I can do it.

If your first reaction to hearing “go all in” is panic—that’s not because it’s wrong. That’s because the ED is terrified of losing control.

And I know this part hurts: you don’t need to have perfect thoughts before you act. You just need to act anyway.

You said: If I haven’t changed my thinking, will recovery even work?
Yes. Because your thoughts change because you recover—not the other way around.

You rewire your brain by showing it you’re safe:
By eating when it says stop.
By resting when it screams lazy.
By refusing to earn your food, your worth, your body.

🟡 You don’t need more time to feel ready. You need to take the leap—and let your body prove it’s been ready all along.

4. Does exercise really control my weight—or is that a lie?

This is one of the most persistent ED myths: “If I don’t move, I’ll spiral.”

But here’s the thing. Your body isn’t stupid. It’s smart. And it doesn’t run on maths.
When you over-exercise or move compulsively, your body adapts. It becomes efficient. It slows your metabolism to preserve energy.
When you feed it regularly and rest? It speeds back up. It relaxes. It finds its natural set point.

Your weight is not controlled by your workouts. It’s controlled by your biology—and your biology knows what to do when you stop interfering.

🟡 The more you try to control it, the more unstable it becomes. The more you trust it, the more it finds balance.

5. I feel ashamed for eating at night. It ruins tomorrow.

No it doesn’t.

Your body doesn’t know what time it is. It just knows when it’s hungry. And often, that hunger shows up at night because that’s when the world is quiet enough for your body to speak.

This is not you “failing.”
This is your body catching up on what it didn’t get during the day.

You are not broken because you need food after dark.
You are not greedy because your stomach rumbles when the house is asleep.

🟡 Your body is healing. It doesn’t need a schedule. It needs nourishment. Day or night.

6. I’m only eating one meal a day—how do I build up to more?

If you’re only managing one big “healthy” meal in the evening, that’s not because you’re too busy. That’s the ED in disguise.

The busyness. The grazing. The fruit and veg piles. It’s all a way to avoid the discomfort of consistent, adequate eating.

Start with breakfast. Make it portable. Make it imperfect. Just make it happen.

You don’t need 5-star presentation. You need calories.
You don’t need time. You need permission.

🟡 One meal a day is not enough—not even close. You’re allowed to prioritise food even when life is messy.

One Last Thing

You are not behind. You are not the exception.
Every single question this month showed bravery, honesty, and a deep commitment to healing—even when you feel like you're failing.

This isn’t about ticking boxes.
It’s about building trust. And trust doesn’t grow through rules. It grows through consistency, compassion, and the choice to keep showing up.

I’m proud of every one of you who asked. And if you’re reading this thinking, that’s me too—then yes, it absolutely is.

Keep going. You’re doing it.

Julia x