How to Handle Friends/Family Commenting on Your Body

Hearing comments about your body—whether "positive," negative, or simply unnecessary—can be incredibly uncomfortable and triggering in eating disorder recovery. Even when people mean well, their words can feel like an invasion of your personal space, stir up difficult emotions, or reinforce disordered thoughts.

You do not have to justify your body, your recovery, or your boundaries to anyone. Your body is no one else’s business.

If body comments bring up anger, insecurity, or self-doubt, check the Feelings Navigator for tools to process these emotions.

Step 1: Remember That Other People’s Opinions Are Not About You

When someone makes a comment about your body, it often has more to do with them than with you.

🔹 They might be stuck in diet culture and assume everyone wants to change their body.
🔹 They might be projecting their own insecurities onto you.
🔹 They might not realise how harmful body comments can be.

🚫 Just because someone has an opinion doesn’t mean it’s true—or that you have to take it on.

💡 You don’t have to absorb their words. Their opinions are not your reality.

📌 If someone’s words make you doubt yourself, talk it through in The Circle for reassurance.

Step 2: Decide How You Want to Respond

When faced with body comments, you have options. Your response depends on what feels safest and most empowering in the moment.

🔹 Option 1: Set a Boundary (Direct and Clear)
✔ “I’d prefer not to discuss my body.”
✔ “I don’t find body comments helpful, so I’d appreciate it if we focused on something else.”

🔹 Option 2: Change the Subject (If You Want to Avoid Conflict)
✔ “Anyway, how have you been? What’s new with you?”
✔ “Let’s talk about something more interesting—how’s work going?”

🔹 Option 3: Educate (If You Feel Safe Doing So)
✔ “I’m working on healing my relationship with my body, and comments like that aren’t helpful.”
✔ “I know you mean well, but I’m trying to move away from focusing on my body.”

🔹 Option 4: Ignore It and Walk Away
✔ Not every comment deserves a response. If someone repeatedly disrespects your boundaries, you can simply walk away from the conversation.

💡 You are not responsible for making other people comfortable at the expense of your own recovery.

📌 If setting boundaries feels difficult, check the Feelings Navigator for tools on self-confidence.

Step 3: Handling ‘Positive’ Body Comments

Sometimes, even well-intentioned compliments can feel uncomfortable.

🔹 “You look so healthy now!” → Might feel like they’re commenting on weight gain.
🔹 “You look amazing!” → Might reinforce the idea that your worth is tied to your appearance.
🔹 “You’ve lost/gained weight—it suits you!” → Might trigger anxiety about body changes.

🚫 Even “positive” body comments reinforce the idea that your body is open for discussion—and it’s not.

✔ It’s okay to redirect the focus away from your appearance:
✔ “I’d rather talk about how I’m feeling than how I look.”
✔ “I appreciate that you’re being kind, but I’d rather not talk about my body.”

💡 Your body is not up for discussion—no matter how ‘positive’ the comment may seem.

📌 If compliments about your body feel triggering, ask for support inside The Circle.

Step 4: Handling Repeated or Persistent Comments

If someone continues to comment on your body after you’ve asked them not to, it’s time to reinforce your boundary.

🔹 Restate Your Boundary Clearly
✔ “I’ve already said I don’t want to discuss my body. Please respect that.”

🔹 Call It Out
✔ “I’ve asked you not to comment on my body, and it feels disrespectful when you keep doing it.”

🔹 Remove Yourself from the Conversation
✔ You don’t have to engage with people who repeatedly cross your boundaries.

💡 If someone refuses to respect your boundaries, that’s about them—not you.

📌 If you’re struggling with repeated body comments, talk through strategies in The Circle.

Step 5: When It’s Family or Close Friends

It can feel harder to set boundaries with family members or close friends who have a history of commenting on your body.

✔ Remind them that you are in recovery and following professional advice.
✔ Let them know that even “harmless” comments can be damaging.
✔ Explain that you want to focus on things that matter—not your appearance.

💡 You are allowed to ask family and friends to respect your healing, even if they don’t fully understand it.

📌 If family body comments are a long-standing issue, ask for advice in The Circle.

Step 6: Recognise That Some People Won’t Change

Some people will never stop commenting on your body—no matter how many times you ask.

🔹 They might be unwilling to let go of diet culture.
🔹 They might not take recovery seriously.
🔹 They might believe body comments are just “normal conversation.”

🚫 You do not have to accept this. You are allowed to set consequences.

✔ Limit your time around them.
✔ Refuse to engage in body-related conversations.
✔ Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries.

💡 If someone refuses to respect you, they may not be ‘your people’ anymore—and that’s okay.

📌 If letting go of toxic relationships feels difficult, talk it through inside The Circle.

When to Seek Extra Support

If body comments are making recovery harder or causing distress, you don’t have to navigate this alone.

🔹 Talk to a therapist or recovery coach for support.
🔹 Use The Circle to discuss strategies and gain encouragement.
🔹 Remind yourself: Your body is not a topic for public discussion.

Next Steps

🎯 If body comments trigger self-doubt, visit the Feelings Navigator for self-worth tools.
🎯 If you need help setting boundaries, read "How to Set Boundaries with People Who Don’t Understand Recovery".
🎯 Join The Circle to share experiences and get support from people who understand.

Final Reminder

🚀 You do not owe anyone an explanation for your body.

Your worth is not in your appearance. Your body is not a discussion point. Your recovery is yours to protect. ❤️